It has been a bit of a drought here with my blog posts. So much has happened in the past year or so since my husband’s death, that life overwhelmed me for a while there, but now I’m beginning to fight back. Part of what has helped the process is a recent trip I took to Hawaii. This was a trip my husband and I had planned before he got sick. It was to be the honeymoon we never had 39 years ago when we got married. Sadly, he didn’t last long enough to make that trip, so I made it for both of us. I didn’t go on my own. I took a very good friend, writer Lyn Cash, with me. Missing my husband so much, I never expected to find any real joy in the trip, but I surprised myself. The people of Hawaii are wonderful, very spiritual and warm people. The landscape is unbelievably beautiful and really touched my soul. After speaking with a very loving and wise woman over there, I had another funeral for Brian. A private one. Doing it the Hawaiian way, I walked out into the ocean and cast a flower out for every one of the family members left behind. Every flower was washed out to sea, enabling my husband’s spirit to flow towards the light, or at least that’s what this wise woman assured me. At that moment, as the sun broke over the horizon, I could believe it and it gave me a great deal of peace. Although I’ll always grieve for my soulmate, I came home with a lightened spirit. Now it really is time to start looking to my future as a single woman, although in my heart I’ll always be married.
Waikiki Beach taken from the hotel balcony